NIGHTSHIFT - YIHAA!

I was offered a night shift at the store so guess who said yes and now has to go to work 9 o'clock in the friggin' evening? On a FRIDAY! Haha, I'm pathetic... But if you need money then why not, I get nice bonuses.

So I'm off to work ( that sounds weird to say at this hour ) and back home about half past six - yay! Goodnighters you lucky bastards that get to go to bed soon.

GRAY, RAINY DAY

Today is again one of those boring gray days that makes you just want to curl up in bed with a good movie or something.

I have some stuff going on right now, connected to my moving abroad, so I don't really have much to tell you guys. But hopefully I'll get back on track again soon!

Tomorrow's New Years Eve, what you guys up to? As previously stated, I'm going to be the designated driver for our gang going to Yliskylä, Helsinki, but I'm sure it's going to be fun anyway!

Oh yes, I almost forgot. Blanca and I went to the movies yesterday and saw Sherlock Holmes - The Game of Shadows. Amazing! I absolutely loved it! And loved seeing Jude Law as a horseman, doesn't get much better than that haha. Except Robert Downey Jr on a Shetland pony. :'DD
I also bought a new sweater once we were in Iso Omena and skimmed through the sales. I shall show it to you guys later!

SLIM PICKINS

Meh, my thoughts were definitively somewhere else today since I didn't find anything from the sales! Feels weird to walk into a shopping center and not buy anything else than nail polish! Haha.

Nail polish by Mavala, colours "Bangkok" and "Arosa."
The one on my nails right now is Chanels "Gold"

Oh well, I've got loads of stuff going on in my head right now - a feeling I'm not very keen on - so I just need to... relax and try to figure all this sh*t out. So I'm going to head to bed and watch the new movie "One Day" with some Cola and snacks. Goodnighters and see you tomorrow!

QUICK UPDATE

I've just gotten out from the shower and about to head to Leppävaara for som Christmas sales shopping. Hoping to find a pair of shoes and a coat maybe. We'll see! If I find anything, I shall show to you when I get home.

Byes!

Wearing my new bathrobe that the Aussies gave me. Insanely soft!

Today has been one of those lazy days. Just slacking at home, watching movies and eating more chocolate than I should. But the highlight was talking with my dearest Siiri in the morning! We had loads of gossip to share, it was so effin' great to talk to her again after a long ( waaaay too long, we need to shape up Sirius! ) break. So awesome to get to talk with somebody that understands and knows what's going on. Especially when it comes to guys. :D

I also got a sudden urge to watch Disney movies after that skypecall so I watched both Lilo & Stitch and The Lion King in the afternoon. I heart my inner child! <3

There's a nice smell in room at the moment since the hyacinth my ridingteacher gave me, has finally opened and the flowers smell incredible! I'm intoxicated by the smell since the flower is sitting right next to me on the table. Love it.

I'm off to bed - trying to get my sleeping habits back in shape - so goodnight everybody!

I heart Louis Vuitton

Holy friggin' hell... I am so blown away right now.

From time to time I help out my old classmate's family by taking their dog out on walks. I have done this for quite a while now, and they have paid me well ever since I started doing it regularly. They also give me a Christmas present each year, and this year the mother really took it too far according to me. Waaaaay to far, this is just unreasonable...

The woman gave me a friggin' Louis Vuitton pashmina! A real friggin' LV!!

I don't care about the fact that I look like a bum - I have a friggin' LV pashmina!!

That thing is worth such a shitload of money I can't even begin to describe how insanely thankful I am! I am never taking this baby off, ever again. Hell, I could walk on the streets with nothing else than the pashmina and underwear on me, seriously. :D

I have never owned LV anything, and most likely never will again since they are so insanely expensive. This thing is never going to leave my household. ever. I absolutely love it.

So thank you Johanna so insanely much, I am never, ever going to accept your payment for the walks again. :D

Now I'm gonna boil me some water and make some noodles to eat with my new chopsticks, made out of cherry wood that the Australians bought to me from Japan. Wow, I am so being spoiled with awesome stuff right now. 

Nighters!

"- You're funny! - And you're drunk. - So are you? - But I'm always funny. Or then I'm just always drunk..."

Haha, I can't stop laughing when I recall that scene, where that conversation above was held, in my head. My friend was quite a lot drunker than I think he would like to admit. :D

I miss Tallin so much right now, it's insane. I just want to go back there, now. Doesn't matter where I'd stay or for how long, I just want back. Oh well, I'll just have to hope I can find the time and money to visit again soon.

Christmas is officially over now that all my relatives have got their presents and we've eaten most of the food there was left. So now I'm just going to enjoy the gapdays and look forward to New Years Eve! The plan is to celebrate New Year's Eve at our family friend's place in Laajasalo, Helsinki. I'm most likely going to be the designated driver so no drinking for me.

Now there's Kung Fu Panda on the telly so I'm going to enjoy watching that with the rest of my family. Hope you had a great day, see ya!

In Tallinn a few years ago, on Toompea.

SHE WILL GO AND SET THE WORLD ON FIRE

That annoying moment when you realize you're starting
 to get attached to person you shouldn't even like....

HEADERS

In the whim of a moment I decided to change my header - for at least a while - to a more "Christmasy" - one. Altho'  I do have two different options, and I can't decide which one to use.

You guys have any opinions?

The one I'm using right now.

Or the "face" version of a photo from the same photoshoot.

Or the old one?

Do tell if you have an opinion, I can't decide.

CHRISTMAS EVE

So Christmas eve is over and I am feeling a little... well, I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. To spend the eve with my family was great, we ate good food and lingered the whole evening which was great. But then I felt like I needed some time for myself and went out for a little walk in the quiet December night, enjoyed the fresh air and the stillness.

I realized that I'm a bit lost with my life at the moment, I'm sort of feeling nostalgic and a little sad at the same time. I just can't seem to figure out what my purpose in life is, how I'm going to achieve those goals and dreams that I'm trying to reach out to so bad. I know what I want - I think - but I can't figure out how to get where I want to go. And at the same time I'm torn between two worlds I can't imagine leaving, neither one of them. I have this side in my that wants to just get out there and live my life as I've always planned it in my head, but then again I'm a little bit too insecure even tho I realize I have to ball up in order to ever grow up. And at the same time there's this part of me that just wants to go back to how things were. And looking and longing back will never get you anywhere.
Ugh.

Why does it have to be so hard?
I'm listening and singing along to Deb Talan's "Comfort" right now, over and over again, hoping that it would make me feel a bit better. Not sure if it is, or if it's just making things worse.

Oh well, it's starting to get late so I think I'm going to head dreamland in my sweet Muumin - sheets and try to watch a movie, perhaps. Goodnight folks and see you again tomorrow! ( or today if we're being exact. Whatever, you get the point. Nighters. )

Very old picture of me, taken in 2008 maybe.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Happy holidays to you guys, where ever you live or whenever you celebrate! Enjoya  peaceful and beautiful holiday and make sure to relax and just enjoy life!

I'm going to celebrate Christmas at home with my family, just as I always have and most likely always will if I get to choose. Right now there's Estonian Christmas music playing in the kitchen stereo, a smell of spruce in the whole house and a calm atmosphere, I love Christmas!

Have a very merry Christmas and see you again soon!

Y U NO HAVE INSPIRATION

Gaah, I feel frustrated when I lose my inspiration to blog. Not that this is such a big blog and(or that thousands of readers would be disappointed when I don't post on a while, but it just feels annoying to know you'd have stuff to blog but can't find the effort. Mehh. I still have the pictures from Sweden on my phone but I just can't find the energy to actually transfer them to my comuputer and upload them here. I am terribly sorry for my laziness, I know it's a sin, bear with me.

Today we had the last rehearsal for Monday's show, my outfit for the catwalk is quite.. interesting. Let's just say interesting and maybe pictures later on will tell the story. :D Anyways, it's a dress that I'm wearing my new shoes to, yay! My stylist fell absolutely in love with them so I'm guessing I'll be wearing them more often heh heh.

Oh well, now I'm losing it all again so I'll just retreat to my lovely bed and watch some crappy TV or something. Goodnighters!

Pic from last New Years Eve I think... Visiting family friends in Laajasalo.

SO TIRED!

Hello again!

So I'm safely at home again, but unfortunately my boat trip home was a bit... uncomfortable so to speak. It was really windy out on the sea somewhere after Åland so the boat was rocking really heavily back and forth which made me insanely seasick. I've never been that seasick, I just felt like dying! It was horrible, so basically I spent most of the night sitting next to the toilet, actually wishing to throw up so the sickness would leave me be. Finally when I realized that my stomach refused to spill anything, I tried to sleep but that didn't really work out either because of the waves. So, when I finally got to Helsinki I was dead tired and just tried to stay awake when my mum picked me up.

So I am waaaay to tired to actually transfer all the pictures from Fors that I had to take with my phone since my camera broke down, so I'll update you right away tomorrow when I - hopefully - wake up after a proper night of sleep.

Godnight and see you tomorrow!

Just to lighten up the mood a little. :D
( if the thing refuses to move, click on it since it's a GIF....)

OFF TO THE AIRPORT

I'm gonna hit off to the airport in about half an hour, so see you folks later  and have a great week! I propably won't be able to blog since I'm not taking my laptop with me and my phone refuses to open blogspot, but I'll update you again when I get home, hopefully with some great pictures. Byes!

Facelook of the day. Adios amigos and see you on Thursday!

FINALLY

I'm FINALLY done with the God damn picture so now I'm free again! haha.

So, about yesterday. As I said, I was at the Miss Farkku Suomi - shoot from 14 PM to about 2 AM, so it was quite a long and rough day but so much fun! I almost got lost on the way there but then thankfully managed to figure out a ride to take me. Woman and a sense of location... haha.

Anyway, we were acting a class of girls in the 70's, about to go to a dance competition so we were getting on a busy, talking and then in the last scene we got in a horrible bus accident. And here is my lovely make-up of the day. :D

That was SO much fun, I can't even begin to describe it. Tho' it got a little nasty when the MUA did the cut right on top of my old scar. I started feeling sick all of the sudden, the feeling of the brush touching felt too familiar, and the fear and anguish from almost 15 years ago just hit me all over again. So scary...

Anyway, the shoot was a blast and I met a lot of great people once again. Such a pleasure to work with such professionals that know how to make a day unforgettable. Altho' it was a little cold but that's just a small side issue. :D

Tomorrow to Sweden so I just want to relax at home today, maybe watch a movie or two and drink some Julmust! <3 Hope you had a great weekend and if I can't find the time to blog tomorrow, then see you again on Thursday!

BUSY

I'm working with an Photoshop - assignment my dad's business partner asked me to do a couple of days ago, so I'm just going to get that done and then tell you all about my shoot last night, I swear!

So, brb!

ALL DAY LONG

I'm now going to head off to the Miss Farkku Suomi shoot, will most likely be gone all day so have a great day everybody!

And for some nostalgia - a reeeeeally old picture of me. :D

MEL MILLIS

Okay, the honey, sugar and olive oil  bogyscrub was bloody brilliant.

Even before I had gotten out of the shower, I realized my skin was smooth as a baby bum, no kidding! Insane how much better home made, natural stuff can be compared to the crap you buy from a store.... This is definitively something I'm going to keep using, I've been a huge fan of honey before as well but now I am completely sold for this miracle stuff! From now on I'm only using cosmetics based on honey, haha!

Love you honey. <3

LEGO HOUSES

Right now I'm sitting by my desk with a hair mask on my head, listening to Ed Sheeran's "Lego House" acoustic version. Such and amazing song, absolutely love it.

Today I've singing practice again, I am guessing we'll be working with the Christmas song for the show. And home to prepare for the film shoot on Saturday!!

I'll hopefully see my sister and her newborn on Sunday before I head off to Sweden for a couple of days, I hope there will be time for that.

Now I'm going to hop into the shower and scrub myself shining with a homemade bodyscrub made of honey, olive oil and sugar. let's see how that works out!

So, here for your entertainment, a funny picture or two.

SHOE HEAVEN IN ON HELL OF A PAIR OF JEANS

Well here we go, my Internet is finally working again so NOW I can show you my latest purchases!

So, starting off with the shoes! <3
When I showed my mum what I was ordering, her first reaction was "Oh my dear Lord those are hidious!"
I have to admit that when these came to the market, maybe a year ago or so, I had the same opinion. I thought they made ones feet look enormous and ugly, they we're something I was never going to put on my feet. ( I have a obsession with small feet, I can't stand shoes that make my feet look like flippers...) But then they kind of grow on you somehow... You see them everywhere, and all of the sudden they start looking good with the right outfit... And then, finally, they look simply gorgeous whatever the color, height of heel etc. So when I saw these on the Internet for half the price, I just had to go for it. Thankfully, there were still shoes in my size, 36 in the European measurement, so when I opened the box and tried them on, I was sold! So comfortable and so incredibly good looking I can't take them off!
As billions of Swedish bloggers have said ( my dirty pleasure, don't judge me ) these shoes are insanely comfortable despite the 13 cm heel! It's the plateau that takes the horrible "I'm-walking-in-insanely-high-heels-Jesus-my-poor-ball-of-the-foot!" - feeling away and you can just keep on walking. Love at first sight! <3 My only problem is that I feel weirdly tall in them, I'm standing a whopping 186 cm over the sea while wearing these, yaiks.

And then, as the sugarcoating, the jeans. My holy hell... I walked into One Way today and these babes were right in the doorway, looking at me and screaming "I am THE pair of jeans for you!" So I ripped them from the shelf, ran to the fitting room and realized that I had found the perfect pair of jeans. They fit like a glove and the leather patches on the knees are insanely cool if you ask me!

They are by Zoey M. and the prize was really sensible which made me even happier.

So, now my desire for shopping is healed for a itsy bitsy while... But I have a slight suspicion it won't take long until I'm craving some new fashion items to my wardrobe again. 'Till then I'm going to enjoy my lovely heels and badass jeans. <3

YELLOW DIAMONDS IN THE LIGHT

My Internet is behaving like a little b*tch at the moment, so nothing's working properly and am on the edge of ripping the cable into million pieces. Useless piece of cr*p I say....

Anyway, as soon as my Internet is working properly again, I'm going to show you what I brought home yesterday AND what I brought today from One Way. They are both sweeeeet I tell ya, I love shopping especially when it's a discovery like these two!

Be right back when I can, 'till then I'm going to keep listening to Rihannas "We Found Love" and watching TV.

BACK IN BUSINESS

Okay, I'm going to try and get this blogging going again. I feel pathetic after 10 days at the stable, totally disconnected from everything like the media, my computer, TV, gossip, happenings etc etc. Of course there's a TV over there and so on but there's really not much time left over to watch TV or just relax at the house. There's always something that needs to be done in stable so most of the time I'm running around in shitty clothes, shitty hair, with a dozen layers of clothes and big, idiotic shoes and simply enjoying it to the fullest. There's something so incredibly relaxing about not caring about anything else, just doing what I enjoy doing the most and having a blast with great people like Satu, Sofia etc. Such an easy way to spend time.

Anyways, most of the time I just did different tasks in the stable since Ó is still lame on the right front leg so mostly we've just snuggled in the stable. I felt so bad for him when he had to stand in the stable for almost a week, poor guy. Tomorrow a lady will massage him and try to relax the tight muscle that is causing the pain in tölt.
Unfortunately, the course Sara was supposed to keep last weekend, was canceled because there weren't enough participants. Some other time then!

Right now I', back at home again, feeling a little confused since I haven't been at home for such a long time ( it feels like it!) I'm just trying to catch up on everything going on here at home, like me becoming an aunt again!! I am so proud of my sister, and the baby girl that was born during the Finnish Independence Day is the smallest and cutest thing I've seen in a while I tell ya!

On Saturday I'm heading to Tikkurila for the movie shoot I mentioned earlier. It's for a Finnish movie production called Miss Farkku Suomi which is based on an album and also novel by Kauko Röyhkä. I am so looking forward to it!
I'm also heading off to Sweden on Monday to check out the place where I'll be working next year, that'll be fun!

Right now I'm just listening to some David Guetta ( Without You feat. Usher - bloody awesome song!) and soon I'm planning on climbing into bed to watch some How I Met Your Mother, it's been a long time no see my dear HIMYM. <3

I also brought a package from the post office today, but I just decided I'm going to keep you waiting 'till tomorrow and then show you what I bought... ;) Goodnighters and happy "pikkulauantai"!

I can sort of relate to that atm... Hmm, I could take a trip to the fridge....

BACK AGAIN

I'm at home again, tired but happy! I became an aunt again yesterday at 23.57 in the night, I am so thrilled!
Right now I'm having dinner and trying to collect my thoughts a little, when I get that done I'm going to write a better post, I swear! Be right back folks, stay tuned! :)

PACKING AND THEN I'M OFF

I've just finished off packing, I'm fresh out from the shower and now enjoying an episode or two of Top Gear before I head off to Hestbakki for a week. So you'll get a break from my boring everyday life. :D

I'll be training Bloffe for all I'm worth so that we are good to go for Sara's course in the weekend.. It's going to be a great weekend; Sara's course, good company, good horses, a nice courseplace ( we've rented a stable with a riding hall for the occasion ) and I'm sure we'll learn loads of great new things to use in the future!
After the week at Hestbakki, I'll be at home for a week, with the movie shooting the 10th and then the 12th I'm off to Sweden for a few days to check out the place where I'll be living and working from January forth.
After Sweden it's the fashion and talent show the 19th, the same day my relatives from Australia arrive, and the 21th we're going to Estonia for a day with the whole family and the Australians. And then it's already Christmas! Wow, December's going to be a busy month... Oh well, better that than sitting at home, bored out of my mind.

Now I'm going to put some decent clothes on and then wait for my ride. Adios amigos and have a great week!

Old picture, oh how I miss you summer.... If you're wondering, I'm stripy since I've got the venetian blinds down.

STORM AND DARKNESS

It's raining outside right now like no tomorrow, and the wind is absolutely insane. About and hour ago, the electricity went off and we were sitting here, in complete darkness for over and hour. It was sort of fun, but at the same time a little scary since there was no light to be seen anywhere! I went for a quick walk, with a flashlight in my pocket just in case, to see how severe the cut off was. I had to walk for quite a while before I could spot light, and that was on the other side of the city border, ie in Kauniainen. Spooooky.

Anyway, since I had enough battery on my computer, I decided to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2... Again.....
No matter how many times I watch it, I still end up crying and shivering with goosebumps in the "worst" places.... ( Since I know at least one person why reads my blog and hasn't seen DHP2, ( the blashpemy! ) I'm noit going to spoil it.. ;) )
How can a movie be so touching, it's incredible... Each time I hear the theme song I just feel like crying, it's so amazing...

Oh well, now I need to start packing my stuff since I'm leaving for the stable tomorrow, staying for at least a week. Going to be riding and helping around at the stable, and then Sara's course in the weekend, YAAY!

Oh, and I bought a pare of shoes today from Nelly. I yberlove them, can't wait 'till I get them home and get to try them on!

Goodnight and sleep tight folks!

Good to go to bed with these guys in ya thoughts... :D Yum.

On that bombshell, I'm off to bed. Good night.

HAPPY B - DAY SIS!

So today was my sisters birthday so basically I've just been chilling with her, eating cake and just being random like hell. My sister is the best person in the world, love her to bits! <3

We also had a quick run at the stable with Blanca, simply rode our horses and then drove back home again. Was quite a quick visit. Ófeigur still seems a bit weird after his illness a few weeks back so I'll have to keep and eye on him, maybe ask my stable manager for a second opinion as well.

Tomorrow I have no plans what so friggin' ever so I'm just going to relax, maybe try to get something useful done and then maybe pack my stuff for a stable stay. I'm thinking about going to the stable on Monday and then stay all week since Sara Ástþórsdóttir is visiting us at Hestbakki again next weekend and I want to prepare Ó. YAY that she's coming to Finland again, I am an official member of the Sara Á Fanclub! :D

Anyways, now I want to go and get some toast, something to drink and then kick back and watch a movie or something. Have a nice weekend folks!

 Two more behind the scenes picture from the "Dior" shoot a few weeks back. 

WHY IS IT SO GOD DAMN GRAY OUTSIDE?!

I am so sick and tired of this gray, boring weather. Go away you bastard, I want my sun back! Doesn't matter it if comes together with snow or without it, but I just want some God damn sun in this God forsaken hellhole.

Grrr, I need a vacation...

Anyway, today's singing practice was fun, got a private lesson since the other girls didn't show up for some reason, but at least my solo for the final show is advancing nicely, no problems there as long as I remember to breath. :D Sort of a fast song so I need to focus on my breathing quite a lot.

Now I'm gonna kick back with a movie and maybe have a cup of tea or something, the weather seems perfect for that. Tomorrow's my sisters birthday so we're gonna have her come over and celebrate a little.

Ó and his girlfriend relaxing, taken a few days ago. How cute ain't that? <3

RAINY DAY

Today's been a gray, rainy day but thankfully, spent at the stable, it didn't seem so bad! Good company and horses is always a good cure against a typical, Finnish fall depression. Ó was great to ride, but I need to make sure he's not hurting anymore. After all, he has just gotten over the boil he had in his hoof and I'm afraid he's still a bit tender.

Anyways, new try tomorrow and then singing practice later in the evening. We're rehearsaling for the show in December, let's see how it goes!

Now I'm going to go on a late siesta ( I am so full after a delicious dinner, I need to lay down! ) and watch some TV.

Pic when Blanca and I had to take the hellbus home from Helsinki since we missed the train... 
I'm showing my phone to the camera since it said 01.00 on the screen at this point and I was FRUSTRATED. :'D

DO..... WANT!

Okay, pardon my groupie - ness for a second, but I found THIS on nettiauto.com and my inner petrol head is dying a slow death....

Oh my holy Jesus... I want that car, seriously! It is so God damn beautiful and  amazing - I have to get one some day! One day, I swear, you'll see me behind the wheel of one of those and you'll be picking your jaw up from the dirt. One day.... 

Okay, that might take a while but look at it! Stunning! Altho' another thing that's quite stunning is how thirsty that thing is... 17.5 litres/100 km in the city... woops.

Naah, it's okay.

Anyways, I'm a huge Porsche fan, and especially a sucker for the 911 GT3. One day I want to drive one of those... Untill then I'll stick to what I have.. which is nothing. :D Hahah, does a petrolhead GET lamer than me.

I'VE OFFICIALLY GONE MAD

Yup, the day has come. I've finally lost the last drop of sanity I ever had in my poor little body, unfortunate but true. Today, on our way home from the shooting, Blanca and I popped in at Yliopiston Apteekki since I wanted to buy something I've planned on buying for ages. And that something is Biotin Forte, a biotin pill made for dogs, cats and horses. Believe it or not. 

The pill contains biotin, methionine and zinc which is supposed to increase growth or hair  and nails, and also calm your skin down if you suffer of a skin both sensitive but with a propensity to impurities. Like me for example. So, after much googling and contemplating, I decided to give it a go. I mean, what's the harm? None of those ingredients are harmful even if you'd swallow all the pills at once ( which I don't recommend for the sake of your economy and sanity ) and therefore you can't overdose. Yay for that! The only drawback  is that they taste like utter shit, let me make that clear. I try to swallow them faster than the speed of light because the taste is just... my God... so gross!

But hey, no pain no gain as they say... Hng, why do I care about my hair so much.... >.<

So I shall keep and eye on my hair and nails for at least the next two months and hopefully I'll see at least some progress!

KALEIDOSCOPE HEART

Another fun day shooting behind again, this time together with Blanca. Unfortunately today's shoot was sort of boring compared to the others I've been too, but at least she knows what it's like now! :)
Aki, the co-producer, also said he had another shoot for me to December, but more about that when I get informed about it properly. But I can spill you a key word; movie. ;) So exciting, I'm starting to become hooked to this feeling.

Now I'm going to stuff my stomach full with some delicious salmon I made yesterday, then get changed and go ride with Blanca. Gonna be a late start today since we get the car after 3 PM, but that's better than no car at all.
Might blog something later if I find the time and energy to it, but if not than have a good day!

Kitchen,  food and Sara Bareilles on the stereo. Life's quite good right now.

SO TIRED

Yesterday Blanca and I went nuts with some wine, tequila and Koskenkorva so today I am so tired I could just sleep all day. Must... stay... awake....

Anyways, we had a blast and today my muscles are aching from all the dancing. Fun!
Tomorrow we're hitting the Helsingin Herra - shoot together, let's see what Blanca thinks about that stuff. :D

Now I'm simply too tired to write anything properly so I'll just keep on watching Top Gear.

Me on last Wednesdays portfolio shoot at the agency, I loved my outfit!
The skirt and fur - thingy are mine, the rest of the clothes were the agency's. 

....

I really haven't done anything worth telling today, so I'll just wish you good night and end this post with a picture that totally made me laugh.

PISSED OFF - APPROCH AT OWN RISK

Gah, I am so bloody pissed off an irritated right now I just feel like hitting my fist through a wall. I'm irritated and so disappointed in myself for being so starry eyed and stupid, it's unbelievable, I just want to strangle myself. And a few other others as well for being selfish, greedy bastards for taking all my money and basically not giving SHIT in return. AAARGH I'm so bloody pissed off. How could I be this stupid and naive?!!?

I'm just gonna go pout somewhere in a corner and wish for a better day tomorrow, nighters everyone.

ARGHHH. stupidmoronidiotwhatthefrigginghelliswrongwithyou.

DAYS GO BY

Wow, time does fly when you're having fun doesn't it... o.0 I don't really know what had kept me so occupied lately, but I never managed to find time to squeeze a little blogging there in between. Oh well, back on track.

Basically what I've been up to is stable, stable, stable, modeling school, singing lessons and just hanging out with friends. This Wednesday we had the portfolio shoot at the agency, which was so much fun, and then after that Blanca and I hit Llamas for a few drinks. Which ended up with us missing our train ( d'oh!) and taking the bus home which took forever.... Srsly, it felt like an ice age had the time to pass by before we got to the busstop nearest to us. And then had to walk home from there on top of it all. Sigh, oh well, it was fun so no harm done.

In a few hours I'm hitting off to singing lessons, we are going to practice our songs for a performance in December, exciting!! After that I just wanna relax at home and sleep tomorrow morning since I haven't been able to sleep in the morning all week. So Saturday morning is sanctified for sleep, and then Sunday is going to be all action babies. First my sisters babyshower and then TEEEQUIIIILA night with Blanca. Except I'll skip the tequila and go with Salmari instead. :D

Now I need to get back to some paperwork, have a nice day!

O.o

Jesus Christ I joined the "weird-ass-dreams-in-the-morning" - club once again this morning, holy cow I tells ya!
Don't really know what the bloody hell my brain was thinking when it made me take a tattoo by a person NOT qualified as an tattoo artist and then wouldn't let me open my eyes because the sun was shining too bright. What the fuq. Sp confusing and weird to wake up from dreams like that and not know what the hell just happened.

Oh well, moving on.
Today I've got my portfolio photoshoot at the model agency, gonna be fun fun fun fun! And after that out for some drinks with me amiga Blanca. Loooong day ahead, thankfully I get to sleep on Thursday. And then rehearsals at Friday, then some sleep again on Saturday and then my sisters babyshower on Sunday. Oh boy, should stop planning ahead like this. :D

Now I'm gonna hop into the shower, have a nice day everybody!

I refuse to admit being this stupid.... :D

LONG DAY - OR AT LEAST IT FEELS LIKE ONE

I don't really understand how I can be this tired since I haven't even done anything special today. Just went to the stable with Blanca, took Ó for a walk and then just came home. Whadapp, how come I just want to lay in bed and do nothing.

Gah, need to get a grip.

Tomorrow I'm planning to go to the stable, then modeling lessons and then to Llamas with Blanca in the evening, should be a day filled with activities at least.

Now I just ran out of stuff to say so here's a fun picture instead.

PLANS...

I have a small, hair related plan going on in my mind, but I can't decide whether or not to do it...
I'd love to, but then again I think my hair has already suffered so much during my coloring - adventures in the past..

Hmm hmm, decisions, decisions....

FATHERS DAY

Since today was fathers day, I've just spent time with my family, eating good food and just relaxing with everyone. I haven't even put on proper clothes, that's how lazy I've been. My sister and Patricia came over to stay the night, and my brothers family visited us in the morning, eating cake and chatting before heading home. So in short, it's been a fairly good day.

Now that everything has calmed down, I have put myself in a sort of melancholy state of mind. Listening to Coldplay's The Scientist and thinking about life in general ain't too healthy for me... I end up in a dark place somewhere in the long lost corner of my mind where I hide all my insecurity, fears and doubts. Once I open the door to that corner, I am lost for the rest of the day, making myself feel worse and worse for each hour that passes by. It's a scary phenomena and I really hate when it happens.

But I can't help it, once I start to deal with the thoughts, I find it hard to let them go. They just swallow me whole and make me want to wrap myself inside a blanket and hide in the corner of my bed. Scary shit but it happens....

Oh well, better lighten up and try to get something useful done. Like cleaning or something, I don't know.

Here's a picture to lighten up the mood, and if I don't have anything worth saying before I hit the sack tonight, then good night and sweet dreams everybody!

GAH

Gah, here I thought baking a Tiramisu - cake was easy... No way Jose, my arm is killing me right now and I've spent more or less the whole evening in the kitchen fighting with that bloody cake. Oh well, now it's done. Let's hope all my hard work paid off and the taste will please everybody tomorrow, since we're celebrating Fathers day at our place.

Now I'm so tired, after a long day at the stable, then at my sister's place and now in the kitchen, I can barely figure out how to write a proper sentence so I'll just surrender to the sleepiness and hit the sack. Nighters and wish your dads a great Father's day!

Haha, totally made me laugh. Thank you lolsofunny for making my "sleep deprivationed" humor even lousier.

LOOONG DAY

Today has been such a long day, I just feel like crawling under the duvet and never getting up. Since I had to be in Helsinki at 11 for this mornings shooting, I woke up already at 9 to shower and get ready. After all that crap I bummed a ride from my mum who was going to Stockmann.

Since I had stage acting lessons in the evening, there was no point in me getting home in between shooting and lessons, so I just walked around in 10 cm heels all bloody day long. And spent shitloads of money...
- facepalm -
How the hell are you supposed to restrain yourself from shopping with fresh money on the bank account and with loads of time on your hands?! It's physically impossible, I swear.

Anyways, I got loafs of great Christmas presents, a few for my mum and my sister, and then some stuff for myself like a new bottle of eco shampoo and a bottle of eco conditioner  ( from Ruohonjuuri .)  I already love both! I also got a furry scarf - like thing from UFF and a new make-up bag and a ring from Seppälä. Shopping - wise, not a bad day at all even if my feet were killing me.

Tomorrow it's Hestbakki's 5 year birthday, which is where I'll be heading in the morning. So now I'm off to bed with freshly washed and conditioned hair and a pair of exhausted feet. Goodnight and have a great weekend!

G'night. <3

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

I totally had a near death experience today in the morning!! ...Well, almost. Sort of..

Well the thing is that I am ( apparently, I didn't even know myself ) afraid of heights, especially when it comes to bridges. So today in the morning when I had to cross a bridge in Suvilahti to get to my TV - shootings, I totally panicked and in my head the situation really felt like I was going to die.
The bridge was an old, wooden bridge with a lot of cracks between the boards, so I could see the morning traffic rush by right underneath me, and that totally freaked the living crap outta me! And since the bridge was quite long ( crossing over 4 lanes on Sörnäisten rantatie, Helsinki - people know what I'm talking about ) I totally panicked halfway across and thought I was going to pass out and die or something...

The bridge I had to cross. This is going to haunt my nightmares....

The weird thing is, I didn't even know I was so afraid of heights, I totally did not see the panic coming. But thankfully I made it ( haha, I sound so dramatic ) and later in the day, I could even laugh about it all with my producer who totally made fun of me. :D

Anyway, shooting today was great fun and I was invited to come again tomorrow in the morning. Tomorrow's going to be the 6th time I assist/act for the same producer in this TV - show. It's been a real pleasure working with them!

This morning's set before we got started. The morning sun was absolutely gorgeous!

Tomorrow I'm heading to the shootings again, hopefully it will be as fun as before. And after that I've got stage acting lessons as well, it's going to be a great day!

Goodnighters everyone!

PICTURES FROM YESTERDAY

As I said, I went to look at Ó today, who is really hurting I tells ya. He can't walk, he can barely even put the hurting foot down, the poor thing! We're keeping an eye on him 'till Thursday and then take a new look at the foot if it refuses to get better.

Anyways, as I promised yesterday, here are some backstage pictures from the photoshoot we had yesterday! All pictures taken by Blanca who was photographing with my Canon Ixus.

Food is an essential part of getting ready for a photoshoot...

Blanca took over as my hairstylist.

Me parrot! <3

"Take five everybody!"

Yesterday was a good day....