Thursday, May 31, 2012


Hahah, sometimes life can be just too funny, I am still amazed of what happened today at work.

I was listening to the A Very Potter Musical - soundtrack at work, when I had to answer the phone to take a booking. The customer was a 25 year old girl ( or more like woman I guess?) that wanted to book a trip to Helsinki. Once we were done with the booking, I asked how she wanted to pay. She said she could pay it right away with her credit card, but she had to go get her wallet first. She told me she'd put the phone down and go get her wallet from downstairs. I said sure, and since it was taking some time, I started to quietly sing "Going Back To Hogwarts" which has been stuck in my head the last 3 days.
When the girl came back, instead of interrupting me and letting me know she was back, she just listened to me for a couple of seconds before she 'EFFIN JOINED ME IN THE CHORUS!! :''DD

It was f*cking hilarious, I couldn't believe what was actually happening! I just started laughing uncontrollably and she was gasping for air in the other end. It was absurd. Once we gained control over our laughter, we just tried to understand how the situation was possible. She told me she's a huge Harry Potter - fan, and that she absolutely loves A Very Potter Musical from the bottom of her heart.

This was the bloody highlight of my week, seriously. It felt absolutely absurd that she happened to be a AVPM - fan.
Me singing in the phone on the other hand - not so smooth. :D Might wanna tone down the singing at work in general, haha.

So there you go, my day in a nutshell. Nothing else would be worth telling either. :D


are mesmerizing me, seriously. For some odd reason I just keep staring at them.
I wonder when it's going to become creepy...?

Back to jamming to "gotta get back to Hogwarts, where everything's magi-coooool!"

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Just to lighten the topics up for a while...

I just noticed that my legs are peeling like a snake. The sunburn I managed to establish on Saturday seems to have been a bit stronger than I thought... Oh well, first peeling of the year, here we come summer!

( it's starting to become a routine, this peeling my skin a couple of times per summer - thing...)


Today, while walking to work, my mind once again wandered off to the wonderful land of random thoughts. I started thinking about my childhood, and how spending most of it at the stable has shaped me as a person.

I've been told I was crazy about horses as soon as I knew what they were. I had truckloads of different horse toys, and according to my mum I didn't run when playing outside , I cantered like a horse. So I think we've established I was born with a certain love for horses for some unknown reason.
When we moved from Kirkkonummi to Espoo - I was 5 years old back then - the first thing my mum did was sign me up at the local riding stable for riding lessons. ( I think I might have whined about it untill she did it...) And from that day on, I basically gre up on the stable. I've been to quite many different ones, but there are three that are significant for me.
The first stable where I rode and had a horse to take care of, was Espoon Ratsastuskoulu in Kauklahti. My best friend at the time took me with her to that stable, and I still remeber such great moments from that time. Spending time with the other girls, taking care of the horses, eating pizza in the pasture while watching the grazing horses. It was a great "first experience"  and lesson on what being a horse girl is truly about.
The second stable that will always remain in my heart is Ponikoulu, which I stumbled uponin junior high school . My friend Lotta and I were told they were looking for stable girls to take care of horses, and of course we headed there straight away! We shared a pony called "Lemona", a stubborn, cranky old mare with vicious teeth and a zero tolerance for bullshit so to speak. She was truly one of a kind, and taught me so much during those years.
Ponikoulu was like my second home, and the owner and teacher Terhi was like a mother to me. I looked up to her and admired her so much, and all the other girls in the stable soon became really close friends of mine. I literally spent every day at Ponikoulu; I'd cath the bus from school the the stable and in the evening, after we were done closing the stable for that day around 9 PM - ish, Terhi would drive me home. I have no idea how I managed to cope with school and homework during that time, but I graduated with average grades so I guess I just made it happen somehow.
Ponikoulu was a very big part of my life, and when it had to move away from Espoo, I was heartbroken. I managed to continue in the new place in Kylmälä for a while, but after a couple of months I just couldn't make things work timewise. I still try to catch up with those girls and Terhi every now and then, and I am incredibly thankful for the time with them. I don't think I've ever been so happy as I was during those times, it was truly the time of my life.

But the one stable that will always stay in my life - I am determined to keep it that way - is Hestbakki! Blanca and I have been "a part of" Hestbakki every since the first day when the horses from Hofgård moved to Hestbakki, and all the people from this incredible stable are like one big family nowadays. I am never as happy as I am when I'm hanging out in Hestbakki. There's something terapeutic about doing stable chores, talking with nice people that share your interest and of course riding on amazing horses all day.
Satu, owner of Hestbakki, is an incredible inspiration to me and every day with her is like a long, incredibly interesting lesson at school. She has taught me so much and there's still so absurdly much left for me to learn from her!! Hanging out at Hestbakki always feels like a holiday, wether you're working there or not. ( and I happen to know that for a fact!)

A small Bible about my childhoold, there you go. There's no way I could ever write about all the stuff that I love and remember from my childhood at the stable. There would just be too much to write about, and I doubt I'd ever to be able to write down what the stable has meant to me during my childhood.

And I hope there are millions and millions of more memories and incredible moments to come with these people.

Monday, May 28, 2012


I'm listening to Ott Lepplands "Öö" and all the suddenly my thoughts wandered off.
My colleague asked me about my entrance exams to the theater academy today. "You must be so excited?!" she asked. Of course I'm excited, I am bloody thrilled! But once we were done talking I started to think about it. Why am I not happier about this? Think about it, they chose me from among 340 other people, they chose me to go to the final exams, to see if I am the person they want to accept to their school. Why am I not jumping with joy every single day when I wake up?

I know that acting and singing is what I want to do. I feel like I was born to do it, even if I might not be born with the talent and skills for it. But I can remember being 5 years old, sitting on the couch and singing along to my favorite songs while pretending to perform in front of an audience. I've been "acting" to songs in my head as if I were in a movie or music video for as long as I can remember. I have dreamed about acting all my life, but now when I actually have a chance to open the door to that world and get a degree in acting, I have doubts. Why now, why the hell do I have to doubt now?!

I know I have to get a proper education and have something to fall back on if my dreams and plans don't turn out the way I want. But actually accepting that life might not go like planned scares the shit out of me. I have such big dreams and plans that I'd love to execute, but letting go of the past and the way my life used to be = the hardest thing imaginable for me. And I hate it.
I wish I could just throw myself out there, grab every oportunity on the way and see the world while living my life to the fullest. But here I am, big chicken afraid of opening my eyes to the reality and dealing with my crap instead of burying myself under the covers and listening to depressing music on repeat. I miss home, I miss going to high school, I miss spending time at the stable untill all my clothes smelled of stable and I found hay inside my phone.
I hate having to choose between the stable - and all that it includes - and my love and passion for acting. It's the hardest decision there is for me, and I still haven't made up my mind about it. I know I will never let go of horses and riding, it's such a big part of my life, and a life without horses just ain't worth living, easy as that. But I know I don't have what it takes to make it in the equestrian world as a professional, it just won't happen, I know it. I wish I had the determination and talent for that, but I don't. Simple as that. But I still can't let go of Hestbakki and the life I "left behind" there when I moved to Tallinn. ( losing the love of my life - Ófeigur at the same time didn't exactly make it easier either... )

Scheiße I'm getting carried away here... When it comes to dealing with all this hesitation and insecurity about life, there is no stopping me once I get rolling, sorry 'bout that.

What I think I wanted to say with all this is that I am in a very insecure place right now, without any sense of direction and absolutely no clue about what the hell I am doing. My heart wants 15 different things at once, and I don't know wether I want to keep on listening to it at the moment... It's exhausting and very hard to satisfy a heart that's never done changing it mind, that f*cker....


I'm painting my nails, watching AVPM and scrolling tumblr at work. And they pay me for doing this all day? fine by me...

Oh well, I'll try to get something useful done as well so here's the tumblr - moment of the day:

School? College? Getting a Job? Plans for the future?

Saturday, May 26, 2012


Bittersweet nostalgia, you b*tch...

Sometime I miss being a kid so much. So incredibly much....


I am so friggin' exhausted right now, feels like I've been running around town for two weeks. My feet are killing me, they are filled with blisters and I managed to but sunburned ( typical aye...)

Anyhow, the Tallinn Old Town - days were quite fun, I just strolled around and and enjoyed the atmosphere and the weather of course. I also popped by the library to borrow a book and then sat a few hours in the Old Town park.

I also found a skirt at Lindex, half off so that baby came home with me. I felt like a real housewife wearing it while doing household chores, it was great.

Anyway, after washing two batches of laundry and doing all the dishes, I feel like I deserve my vanilla ice cream with fresh strawberries in it, and some Friends in the telly. Have a nice evening!

YUMM! Heeeeello summer and truckloads of ice cream. <3


I'm off to the Old Town to just walk around and enjoy  the ongoing Tallinn- days. Going to be fun, and the weather is absolutely amazing so I'll probably be gone all day.

So have a nice everybody, enjoy the weather and try to relax. I'm going to go and enjoy my day off now!

Friday, May 25, 2012


It's not easy being this cool....


Oh, finally Friday!
The day at work felt endless today, and once I finally got out of there, I just went out for a walk around the city. The weather was - and still is - gorgeous so the walk was incredibly relaxing.

Now I'm just chilling at home in my bath robe and watching Sex and the City, might go out for a drink with a friend later. That might be a good change to my rotting at home - routine.

Have a nice Friday folks!
For Friday's sake - old pictures nostalgia!

Thursday, May 24, 2012


Ah, it's amazing how such a simple thing like sleep can make everything seem a lot better. it seems like alll I needed was a nap, cause today I feel a lot better! Woke up almost two hours before work and just made brunch while blasting the stereos with great feel good - music. And the weather is amazing outside so right now life seems a lot brighter.

Unfortunately I will be at work 'till 21 today so no enjoying the sun for me, but hopefully I'll have time to "catch up" with the nice weather tomorrow, or latest on Saturday. Might even try going to the pub and have a drink or two this Friday, now when I'm finally over that God damn sickness! ( who's got the energy to handle all the people in a pub or club when one's sick?! )

( can somebody explain to me why the water - which comes from a bottle of spring water - in my cup tastes like iron...?! o.0 It's not very tasty to be honest.)

Oh well, back to chatting with Swedes on the phone, so have a nice day folks!
Here's some food porn to brighten your day! ( or make you extremely hungry, whatever. :P )

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Blaargh, having a sucky day. Just tired, pissed off and having a lousy day in general.

So I can't be bothered to blog. Sowwy.

Monday, May 21, 2012


Today, I realized that I am quite happy with the fact that we don't have webcams in our computers at work. Or worse, Macs! Having a Photobooth at work would be a disaster, I'd never do anything else than just play around with it. :D

So yeah, I'm bored at work and it shows. Starting to become restless and my coworkers find it quite amusing.

At the moment I'd really like to be outside, the sky is pitch black and the humidity is insane! It's going to pour down any second now... So cool!

Oh well, back to ( tryingt to) work!

Sunday, May 20, 2012


I finally managed to get my lazy ass out of bed and decided to clean my place up. Always lovely to start a new week in a nice, clean flat instead of a hellhole.

With Elvis Presley spinning on the turntable, some Coca Cola in the Muumin - mug and the sun shining outside I managed to make this place somewhat tolerable. So, I decided to show you guys the result with some pictures, enjoy!

My living/bedroom
I noticed two recurring themes in my apartment; Muumin and Iceland. Hmm...
My dear fireplace.The "nightstand" is actually sort of a basket to keep logs in, but since that
season is kind of over, I decided to turn it into something more useful.
I think it's becoming quite obvious that an equestrian is living in this apartment....
The turntable I inherited from my grandma, love it so insanely much!

Kitchen and front door.

So there you go, a small tour in my apartment. I am definitively very happy with it, I can't imagine I'll ever find another one like this in the same price range! And the neighbors are all very nice, and since it's a small building, it's quiet and calm, nobody blasting music in the middle of the night etc. ( weeeell, except me of course but that's totally different subject....)

Now I believe I deserve some more Coke and maybe some peanut butter sandwiches, byes and have a lovely Sunday!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

I feel like adding the line "the kids are alright!" under this picture but what the hell, normal is overrated!
No bloody idea what is going on in that picture, or what the hell is going on in our brains but let's not open that door....


I've basically been living on crisps, pizza and Coca Cola today. The Coke is causing me to have to run to the toilet like a gazillion times a day. It's interrupting my vital tumbling for God's sake, I can't work like this!!

I might need help....


Okay, so my stay in Tartu stretched a little longer because I got sick, again. I threw up and basically slept in the bathroom the whole day on Tuesday, and had to stay at my relative's 'till the end of the week before returning to Tallinn on Friday.
I am so sick and tired of this shit already, why can't I be healthy for God's sake?!
I'm trying to go back to work this Monday, and hopefully it will work out this time. ( had to go back home the second day, just couldn't do it. ) I also have to go back to the doctor in about a month for some tests to figure out why my immune system is "shutting down" like this, it's not normal anymore. The doctor's got a hunch what it could be but we'll need some blood tests etc to know for sure.

Enough about that!
I've been lazy like hell all weekend and don't intend to change that state either, haha! Now some Disney movies and leftover food from yesterday, adios!

Friday, May 11, 2012


I'm off to Tartu to meet some friends and relax, hopefully the weather will brighten up a little. ( it's been raining and very windy in Tallinn today.) I might even stop by Kaarepere to visit my relatives. But we'll see!

Facelook of the day.
Adios muchahos and have a nice weekend!
( some scheduled updates will hopefully come up during the weekend.)

Thursday, May 10, 2012


One more boring day of laying in bed for me, yay for that! I wonder when I'll eventually lose my mind and go bonkers in here.

Right now I'm eating a peanut butter sandwich ( thanks Siiri for bringing that back into my life, had forgotten about how friggin' delicious they are!) and trying cure my throat with some yucky medicine that I'm supposed to drink two tablespoons of. So gross!

Nothing much going on otherwise, so I'll just end this post with a picture of Siiri and I, we're gorgeous aren't we? :'D

I love us being so weird. <3

Tuesday, May 8, 2012


I have eaten my fair share of apples but still have to run to the doctor every 5th day it feels like.

And that is also the case today. I was planning on sleeping as long as possible today before my doctors appointment at 15 o'clock, but for some reason I woke up around 8 -9 ish and couldn't fall asleep properly after that since the sun was shining outside. So around 12 I gave up and made some breakfast before checking my emails for today etc.

So time to freshen up, get dressed and walk to the doctor, thank God it's so near to my place so that I can walk ( or take the tram if I'm feeling lazy.)

So have a nice Tuesday everyone!

Old picture taken at work, right around the time
when I got sick to begin with, hence the scarf
( and
the bags under my eyes, hahaha! )

Monday, May 7, 2012


Okay, so the plan to shape up with this blogging totally went to hell, and I have been a lazy f*cktard for weeks now. I apologize for that, but keep in mind that I have been bed bound for 4 weeks now, there isn't much to write about when your day consists of waking up, downing a handful of pills, trying to eat, and returning to bed just to spend the rest of the day laying there, trying to come up with something to keep you sane.

I'm having some trouble shaking this God damn illness, and it's driving me mental! It feels like it's bloody mutating or something and once I manage to get rid of one symptom, the next one is already knocking at my door and letting itself  in without asking me first. F*ckers....

Nevertheless, as previously stated, I have had a lot of spare time on my hands, and that is never good for me. I tend to let my mind wander way too easily,  and it always ends up with me depressing the crap out of myself. So 4 weeks of laying in bed equals a lot of time to think about deep stuff, where my life is going, what do I want to do with it, where will I go from here etc. Deep shit man, and dealing with all of that alone is really hard I tell you!

Oh well, at least I have written something now, letting you know I'm alive! Now I think I'll get back to watching TV and drawin for the first time in months, kind of excited about the inspiration for once!


( some mobile pictures to make up for the sucky updating, enjoy! )

The view from the hill near my place, I like to go there
and just sit and watch the sun go down.

Spring-time in Tallinn.

In the Gatwick Express on my way home from London
a couple of weeks ago. Want to go back so badly!!
UK. <3