Sunday, October 16, 2011

To my surprise, I actually dragged my ass out to the cold fall weather and went for a powerwalk with my best friend - my iPod. <3 It's actually nice to walk on the empty streets and just float away in your own thoughts.

And speaking of thoughts, I'm sort of confused and a little sad at the moment. I really have this painful longing to travel abroad, go to London, New York, Barcelona, Rome, Cairo, anywhere else then home.  But there are so many things stopping me, both practical and mental to be honest....
I really envy people that have what it takes to just pack their stuff and move abroad. Like my friends Siiri, Tuuli,the Sannas and so on, have done. I always thought I was a strong and quite an independent person, but now I realize that I'm way too insecure to actually do what they have done - move somewhere else to follow my dreams. I wish I could be that impulsive and optimistic.

At the moment I just wish I had my life more sorted out. There was a picture somewhere with a quote "I wish I was still in that age where you thought you'd have everything figured out by the time you were as old as I am now." or something in that direction. And that is exactly how I feel right now.

I don't want to be lost. I want to feel good about myself and feel like there's a bright future ahead. Right now the future just looks dull and sort of hopeless. And I'm tired of it, but don't know what to do about it


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