FUNNY LIFE

Hahah, sometimes life can be just too funny, I am still amazed of what happened today at work.

I was listening to the A Very Potter Musical - soundtrack at work, when I had to answer the phone to take a booking. The customer was a 25 year old girl ( or more like woman I guess?) that wanted to book a trip to Helsinki. Once we were done with the booking, I asked how she wanted to pay. She said she could pay it right away with her credit card, but she had to go get her wallet first. She told me she'd put the phone down and go get her wallet from downstairs. I said sure, and since it was taking some time, I started to quietly sing "Going Back To Hogwarts" which has been stuck in my head the last 3 days.
When the girl came back, instead of interrupting me and letting me know she was back, she just listened to me for a couple of seconds before she 'EFFIN JOINED ME IN THE CHORUS!! :''DD

It was f*cking hilarious, I couldn't believe what was actually happening! I just started laughing uncontrollably and she was gasping for air in the other end. It was absurd. Once we gained control over our laughter, we just tried to understand how the situation was possible. She told me she's a huge Harry Potter - fan, and that she absolutely loves A Very Potter Musical from the bottom of her heart.

This was the bloody highlight of my week, seriously. It felt absolutely absurd that she happened to be a AVPM - fan.
Me singing in the phone on the other hand - not so smooth. :D Might wanna tone down the singing at work in general, haha.

So there you go, my day in a nutshell. Nothing else would be worth telling either. :D

THESE IMAGES...

are mesmerizing me, seriously. For some odd reason I just keep staring at them.
I wonder when it's going to become creepy...?


Back to jamming to "gotta get back to Hogwarts, where everything's magi-coooool!"

HMM....

Just to lighten the topics up for a while...

I just noticed that my legs are peeling like a snake. The sunburn I managed to establish on Saturday seems to have been a bit stronger than I thought... Oh well, first peeling of the year, here we come summer!

( it's starting to become a routine, this peeling my skin a couple of times per summer - thing...)

MY CHILDHOOD

Today, while walking to work, my mind once again wandered off to the wonderful land of random thoughts. I started thinking about my childhood, and how spending most of it at the stable has shaped me as a person.

I've been told I was crazy about horses as soon as I knew what they were. I had truckloads of different horse toys, and according to my mum I didn't run when playing outside , I cantered like a horse. So I think we've established I was born with a certain love for horses for some unknown reason.
When we moved from Kirkkonummi to Espoo - I was 5 years old back then - the first thing my mum did was sign me up at the local riding stable for riding lessons. ( I think I might have whined about it untill she did it...) And from that day on, I basically gre up on the stable. I've been to quite many different ones, but there are three that are significant for me.
The first stable where I rode and had a horse to take care of, was Espoon Ratsastuskoulu in Kauklahti. My best friend at the time took me with her to that stable, and I still remeber such great moments from that time. Spending time with the other girls, taking care of the horses, eating pizza in the pasture while watching the grazing horses. It was a great "first experience"  and lesson on what being a horse girl is truly about.
The second stable that will always remain in my heart is Ponikoulu, which I stumbled uponin junior high school . My friend Lotta and I were told they were looking for stable girls to take care of horses, and of course we headed there straight away! We shared a pony called "Lemona", a stubborn, cranky old mare with vicious teeth and a zero tolerance for bullshit so to speak. She was truly one of a kind, and taught me so much during those years.
Ponikoulu was like my second home, and the owner and teacher Terhi was like a mother to me. I looked up to her and admired her so much, and all the other girls in the stable soon became really close friends of mine. I literally spent every day at Ponikoulu; I'd cath the bus from school the the stable and in the evening, after we were done closing the stable for that day around 9 PM - ish, Terhi would drive me home. I have no idea how I managed to cope with school and homework during that time, but I graduated with average grades so I guess I just made it happen somehow.
Ponikoulu was a very big part of my life, and when it had to move away from Espoo, I was heartbroken. I managed to continue in the new place in Kylmälä for a while, but after a couple of months I just couldn't make things work timewise. I still try to catch up with those girls and Terhi every now and then, and I am incredibly thankful for the time with them. I don't think I've ever been so happy as I was during those times, it was truly the time of my life.

But the one stable that will always stay in my life - I am determined to keep it that way - is Hestbakki! Blanca and I have been "a part of" Hestbakki every since the first day when the horses from Hofgård moved to Hestbakki, and all the people from this incredible stable are like one big family nowadays. I am never as happy as I am when I'm hanging out in Hestbakki. There's something terapeutic about doing stable chores, talking with nice people that share your interest and of course riding on amazing horses all day.
Satu, owner of Hestbakki, is an incredible inspiration to me and every day with her is like a long, incredibly interesting lesson at school. She has taught me so much and there's still so absurdly much left for me to learn from her!! Hanging out at Hestbakki always feels like a holiday, wether you're working there or not. ( and I happen to know that for a fact!)

A small Bible about my childhoold, there you go. There's no way I could ever write about all the stuff that I love and remember from my childhood at the stable. There would just be too much to write about, and I doubt I'd ever to be able to write down what the stable has meant to me during my childhood.

And I hope there are millions and millions of more memories and incredible moments to come with these people.

SOME THOUGHTS THIS BORING MONDAY AFTERNOON....

I'm listening to Ott Lepplands "Öö" and all the suddenly my thoughts wandered off.
My colleague asked me about my entrance exams to the theater academy today. "You must be so excited?!" she asked. Of course I'm excited, I am bloody thrilled! But once we were done talking I started to think about it. Why am I not happier about this? Think about it, they chose me from among 340 other people, they chose me to go to the final exams, to see if I am the person they want to accept to their school. Why am I not jumping with joy every single day when I wake up?

I know that acting and singing is what I want to do. I feel like I was born to do it, even if I might not be born with the talent and skills for it. But I can remember being 5 years old, sitting on the couch and singing along to my favorite songs while pretending to perform in front of an audience. I've been "acting" to songs in my head as if I were in a movie or music video for as long as I can remember. I have dreamed about acting all my life, but now when I actually have a chance to open the door to that world and get a degree in acting, I have doubts. Why now, why the hell do I have to doubt now?!

I know I have to get a proper education and have something to fall back on if my dreams and plans don't turn out the way I want. But actually accepting that life might not go like planned scares the shit out of me. I have such big dreams and plans that I'd love to execute, but letting go of the past and the way my life used to be = the hardest thing imaginable for me. And I hate it.
I wish I could just throw myself out there, grab every oportunity on the way and see the world while living my life to the fullest. But here I am, big chicken afraid of opening my eyes to the reality and dealing with my crap instead of burying myself under the covers and listening to depressing music on repeat. I miss home, I miss going to high school, I miss spending time at the stable untill all my clothes smelled of stable and I found hay inside my phone.
I hate having to choose between the stable - and all that it includes - and my love and passion for acting. It's the hardest decision there is for me, and I still haven't made up my mind about it. I know I will never let go of horses and riding, it's such a big part of my life, and a life without horses just ain't worth living, easy as that. But I know I don't have what it takes to make it in the equestrian world as a professional, it just won't happen, I know it. I wish I had the determination and talent for that, but I don't. Simple as that. But I still can't let go of Hestbakki and the life I "left behind" there when I moved to Tallinn. ( losing the love of my life - Ófeigur at the same time didn't exactly make it easier either... )

Scheiße I'm getting carried away here... When it comes to dealing with all this hesitation and insecurity about life, there is no stopping me once I get rolling, sorry 'bout that.

What I think I wanted to say with all this is that I am in a very insecure place right now, without any sense of direction and absolutely no clue about what the hell I am doing. My heart wants 15 different things at once, and I don't know wether I want to keep on listening to it at the moment... It's exhausting and very hard to satisfy a heart that's never done changing it mind, that f*cker....

INSANELY BORED AT WORK

I'm painting my nails, watching AVPM and scrolling tumblr at work. And they pay me for doing this all day? fine by me...

Oh well, I'll try to get something useful done as well so here's the tumblr - moment of the day:

School? College? Getting a Job? Plans for the future?

IT WAS THE ROAR OF THE CROWD THAT GAVE ME HEARTACHE TO SING

Bittersweet nostalgia, you b*tch...

Sometime I miss being a kid so much. So incredibly much....